Harlequin Romance
by ThereIsOnlyZuul
Summary: Joker is out of Harley's life permanently so she's taken to spending all her time with Ivy. To bad Ivy can't get Harley to love her the way she loves Joker. And when a plan to woo Harley goes awry, Ivy's frustration boils over and, like a branch beneath someone's foot, she snaps.
1. The Break In

Hello out there in fanfiction land! ThereIsOnlyZuul here with chapter one of another Ivy/Harley Quinn fanfiction! The story of this one centres around a desperate Ivy trying to get Harley to love her the way she loves Joker. This is a one-shot fanfiction that actually came from a longer fanfiction. I edited it a tonne and made it a happy ending instead of the sad one that I originally had and I think it came out even better than before, so enjoy!

Oh, and do feel free to review, I always love hearing from my readers!

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman and this was written only for fun

* * *

"Commissioner," said Batman as he arrived at the Gotham museum. A silent alarm had been tripped and the Gotham police now surrounded the building. Batman stood in the shadows, avoiding the other officers on the scene.

"Batman, good, you're here. At first this seemed like a standard robbery, but certain things have come to our attention to change our opinion about that."

"Catwoman?"

Commissioner Gordon shook his head as he signaled an officer who was controlling a spotlight to shine it on the giant front doors of the museum. A vine, thick as a school bus and covered in thorns that oozed poison, clung to the front doors knocking anyone who got too close away.

"Last time I checked," said Gordon as he turned back to where Batman was concealed, "Catwoman couldn't do this little trick."

"Ivy. I was wondering when she'd reappear."

"Well she's in there for damn sure. Those things are covering every entrance to the museum, and I bet any kind of money that she's after that new diamond exhibit."

"Precious jewels aren't her MO."

"Well, whatever she's after, she's gonna get it. Nobody can get in to stop her." There was no reply. When Gordon turned to look over his shoulder, he saw that The Dark Knight had disappeared. With a sigh and a slight smile Gordon walked back towards the rest of the police force. "Good luck Batman."


	2. Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend

Poison Ivy strolled among the display cases in the east wing of the Gotham museum, peering into them at the priceless diamonds and jewels that sat on satin cushions. She was looking for a gift for Harley. Usually she wouldn't go to such extremes but lately, Harley just wouldn't shut-up about how Joker would steal her presents.

"My Mistah J would steal me diamonds from store front windows. We'd just pass them and he'd punch his fist though the glass and grab me something pretty," scoffed Ivy as she looked from case to case. She could hear the sirens of police cars outside of the building but she had nothing to worry about. No one was getting in. She could take her time. "My Mistah J would get me this, and that, and the _fucking moon_ because he loved me so. Well Harley, I'll make you love me like that. I'll get you every little thing and more because I love you too."

Ivy had been living with Harley for over a year and a half. Joker had been sent to a cell so deep and so disconnected from the rest of Arkham Asylum that even he hadn't been able to escape it. Rumor had it that his new cell was below even Killer Croc's, and Croc lived in a maze of abandoned sewers below Intensive Treatment. In Joker's new cell he didn't get mail, visitors, or even sunlight. This left Harley ripe for the picking.

Ivy had been in Arkham for five years before Joker was caught–for good–and Harley came with him. She remembered how they met when a guard walked Harley by Ivy's cell and the inexperienced guard had been stupid enough to get close to Ivy. She may have been behind glass but she was powerful and she had left him in a stupor long enough for her and the leggy-blonde, ex-Arkham-physiatrist to talk. They'd become quick friends and had broken out of the asylum together.

Of course Harley didn't want to leave without Joker and Ivy had been lying through her teeth nearly every day since their escape to convince her not to go back for him. She told Harley that she had connections working to find out how Joker was caged and if they could break him out.

Lies.

Total lies.

Poison Ivy hated the Joker with a passion. Most other villains in Gotham did: Penguin because Joker's gang interfered with his own, TwoFace because Joker created him, Mister Freeze because of Joker's many attempts to get Freeze to work for him by kidnapping his cryogenically frozen wife. But Ivy's hate came from a different place. Ivy's hate came from the fact that he had so easily charmed his way into Harley's heart but she could not. No matter what Ivy did for Harley, it was never as good as what Joker did for her. At least from Harley's eyes it was never as good. Looking at the scars that trailed her petite body, Ivy couldn't see one good thing that he had ever done for her.

It was jealousy–it truly was as simple as that.

Ivy couldn't make Harley love her the way she loved that deranged clown and it boiled the blood pumping through her veins.

Something caught Ivy's eye and, pushing her hatred for Joker aside, she stopped to stare. "Oh, that one is beautiful. Smash it open for me, please."

A vine whipped across the room at Ivy's request and smashed the glass case wide open. Ivy smiled as she grabbed the necklace on the inside and held it close to her face to examine it.

"What do you think of this necklace?" Ivy asked to the plant as she draped the multi-million dollar necklace over it. "It would look divine on Harley, don't you think?" The plant seemed to become jealous over the remark about Harley, but Ivy sensed it, and soothed the plant, petting it gently. "Don't pout about these rocks; you'll always be more beautiful to me. Now, let's find some earrings to go along with this necklace and then we'll go home–"

"You're going to have to start calling Arkham home again, Ivy."

Ivy turned quickly to see Batman standing just out of the beam of the security lights. "I see you're still sulking in the shadows, Batman."

"Surrender Ivy. Give back the diamonds and just come quietly."

"I can't give you back the diamonds, Batman. They're not for me. I mean, diamonds are lovely, but give me flowers over them any day."

"If not for you, who are they for?"

"Why, Harley Quinn of course." Ivy laughed as she sensed Batman's confusion. "That's right Batman, it's been me and Harley together all along. Spending the nights we've been out of Arkham wrapped up together. You didn't suspect a thing did you? Well, let me tell you about Harley and I. I'm sure you'd love to hear about the sex–"

"Stop, Ivy," growled Batman as he stepped closer to her: batarangs hidden in his hand behind his back.

"You can't tell me you don't want to hear about the sex?" Laughed Ivy as she stepped back. The vines on the walls behind Batman slithered towards him and as he made his move to throw the batarangs at Ivy, they leapt at him and quickly overpowered him. They dragged him backwards and slammed him against the wall.

"Ivy!"

Ivy blew a kiss and Batman quickly quieted: caught in the overpowering stupor of the ecstasy that she could create.

"Now, let me tell you about the sex…"


	3. Let Me Tell You About the Sex

The last chapter ended with the word sex! Teehee, is there sexy times coming up? Well, the answer is no, not really, but stick around and keep reading anyways! :)

* * *

"Now, let me tell you about the sex," purred Ivy as she sat down on a vine that had twisted itself around her legs. "Harley's a screamer. Though, you can tell that just by looking at her. I'll lay her down in bed, and as I crawl over her, she's already squirming. She loves when I bite and suck on her neck… and her nipples. They're so sensitive and such a beautiful colour of pink, just like between her legs… oh, now Batman, are you not enjoying my harlequin romance?" Batman struggled roughly against his restraining vines: Ivy's kiss having worn off quickly. Ivy sighed and stood. Batman was the only man–or human for that matter–on Earth that could resist her.

"Give up Ivy. You won't win."

"Don't you get it? I don't want to win against you. I don't want to win against Gotham either. I want to _win_ against _The Joker_. I don't want to be second best anymore!"

"Win against Joker?"

"Yes. I may have Harley's body but I don't have her heart. I wouldn't expect you to understand. I can't talk Harley out of her little game of a relationship with Joker because she loves him too much. And I can't get rid of Joker because that will cripple her completely. She's only truly happy when she's thinking about him. Somehow I have to become what makes her happy. If that means stealing every goddamn diamond in Gotham, then so be it."

"This seems like a lot of trouble for nothing." Batman replied coolly from his vine entanglings.

"It's not for nothing!" screamed Ivy. "It's for Harley! I want Harley to be mine! Just mine–not his. I'm sick of the way she gets when she thinks of him. All because he's the so-called Prince of Crime. Will she get that way for me? She will after this!" The vines holding Batman suddenly dropped him as the ones holding Ivy wrapped themselves around her and lifted her up so that she loomed above in a goddess-like stature.

"You disposed of The Joker to a cell in Arkham that he has yet proven capable of getting out of, and _I_ thank you for that, but I need to kill you now so that Harley will see I am the dominant villain in Gotham–and fall in love with me!"

Ivy slashed out her arm causing a vine to slash in an identical movement. Batman dodged it, throwing a batarang aimed for Ivy's head. A vine deflected it just before it struck and Ivy lashed out again, sending a vine crashing down towards Batman like a fist being slammed on a table. Batman managed to dodge it: just barely.

"Slowing down in your old age, are you Batman?" Ivy laughed as she slashed out again, this vine hitting Batman square in the chest and sending him crashing against the far wall. A display against the wall shattered, sending the diamonds inside scattering across the floor: indiscernible from the glass bits because all of it twinkled, precious gems or not.

"Stop what you're doing Ivy! You're not rational!"

Ivy laughed manically from her vine above The Batman. "Not rational? Harley does tend to do that to you! People do crazy shit when they're in love!" Ivy raised her arm and prepared to deliver the final blow to Batman. "Goodbye Batman. I'll bring roses to your grave."

A sudden smoke bomb blinded Ivy and she quickly felt the sheering pain of–not only her eyes burning in the tear gas–but of her plants, being hacked to pieces by Batman as he struggled to reach her. Each slash into her plants was like a whip across her back. And with each jolt of pain from her dying plants–her dying babies–she became angrier.

Fiercer.

Crazier.

"Is this how you fight, Batman? Hidden behind a veil of tear gas? Some fucking hero you are!" Screamed Ivy was she chocked and coughed on the burning gases.

Ivy thrashed sporadically around herself: sending the still intact vines in any direction she could. They smashed display cases and walls: glass shreds and brick debris adding to the chaos of the situation. Vines wrapped around her body like amour as she attacked, covering anything that could be seriously damaged: chest, stomach, Achilles' heel, throat…

The vines raised her higher–above the gas and nearly touching the fifty foot ceiling. She coughed the last of it out of her lungs as she called out: "Come out and fight Batman. Or are you just as blinded by the gas–"

Ivy was suddenly off balance. Vines had wrapped tightly around her ankles.

No, not vines. Not her own babies.

It was Batman's grappling hook line. Wrapped tightly around her ankles and pulling her down off of her leafy perch above the rest of the world.

"No! I won't let you win! I want Harley and I'll take her!" Ivy struggled, but she couldn't physically overpower Batman and was quickly pulled to the edge of her leafy platform. With one swift pull, she began to fall. "Save me!" she screamed to the plants that had surrounded her body. "Save me – save your mistress!"

Batman saw what was about to happen and yelled up to Ivy, "Stop! Loosen the vines–you'll kill yourself!"

But it was too late. Ivy had begun a free fall from nearly fifty feet up. Batman cut the line knotted around her legs, but it made no difference. The only thing that would save Ivy from falling was a vine wrapped like a noose around her neck…

The need to be loved by Harley had made Ivy reckless. The need to be loved by Harley might also have made her insane. There is nothing quite as painful as unrequited love.

She laughed manically as she fell; the tightened vine around her throat felt like a blessing. Ivy knew what fate lay before her. She would he hanged by her own plants if she didn't stop herself from falling. It was alright though, Ivy decided quickly. She wanted to die right here, right now. If she were to die in battle with The Batman, Harley would finally love her! Yes, Harley would see that Ivy had died trying to please her and she would finally be one up on the damned clown! She'd finally win!

Just short of the cold, marble floor, the vine ran out of slack. But something was wrong because Ivy wasn't dead. The vine had been cut and she had fallen safely into Batman's outstretched arms.

"My fucking hero." Ivy hissed. She raised her arms to call her unwounded plants to her side but was swiftly dropped to her knees and restrained from behind. Batman patted her down and removed the priceless jewels hidden on her body. A single tear fell from each of Ivy's emerald green eyes. "Those are for Harley," she muttered as Batman tied her hands behind her back. "Now she'll never love me."

Batman frowned as a thought crossed his mind. He felt almost sorry for Ivy.

Almost. He placed his size twelve boot on her back and kicked her onto her stomach. Her head hit the tile floor and she was knocked unconscious.

Poison Ivy had been a thorn in Gotham's side for too many years. She killed people and fed them to her plants. She was a femme fatale to the highest degree. She wasn't really human anymore and yet seeing her on the floor, tears streaking her beautiful face, her broken heart showed her humanity. She was more human than Batman had ever seen her… ever seen anyone.

Bruce grunted in the back of his throat as he grappled to the roof. He would tell Gordon that Poison Ivy was ready for pickup and processing and then he had someone he had to see.


	4. Property Damage and Broken Hearts

Harley sat alone, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket on a dusty and half rotten couch at the mansion: her and Ivy's personal playground. It was ten at night and she had just woken up, having been out all night prowling the streets of Gotham like a bored housecat. She yawned as she lifted a cup of black coffee to her lips. She thought of calling out to Ivy to come cuddle with her but decided against it, knowing that Ivy would probably still be in her greenhouse. She instead dug around in the cushions of the couch looking for the remote to the stolen TV that was against the far wall. She found it–along with a beastly dust bunny that made her scream–and clicked on the evening news.

"Let's see what's happening in Gotham tonight."

"Breaking news from Gotham museum tonight," said the lead anchor, as he stared seriously into the camera. "We now go live to field reporter Vicki Vale who is at the scene now. Vale?"

The camera cut away from the studio anchor to the Vicki. "I'm currently standing outside of Gotham museum where just moments ago there was an incident in the new diamond exhibit. When the silent alarm was tripped, police rushed to the scene where they believed they would apprehend the elusive Catwoman–"

"Catwoman again?" yawned Harley. "That pussycat is such a bore…"

"Police soon realized, though, that they were dealing with a Gotham villain–should I say villainess?–that was much more dangerous. We now go to footage shot with a bystander's cell phone at the time of the incident."

Harley nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw the thick and pulsating vines weaving themselves in and out of the windows and doors of the museum. "Red? Stealing diamonds? I don't believe it!"

"Poison Ivy reappeared today. Police were unable to enter the building, but Gotham City's ever-ready vigilante Batman soon made the scene and was able to enter into the east wing of the museum where Poison Ivy was. What exactly happened in the east wing is unknown, but when the SWAT swept the building, they discovered a near disaster area–"

Harley sat at the edge of the couch, smiling at the television. "Red, what has gotten into you?"

"The struggle that ensued between Poison Ivy and Batman resulted in millions of dollars of damages but did lead to the capture and arrest of Poison Ivy. She is currently on her way via armoured car to Arkham Asylum where she will be incarcerated indefinitely."

Harley's heart leapt into her throat. Ivy had been arrested? Harley was completely alone now. She hadn't seen Joker in ages and probably never would again. Now… now the same thing would happen for Ivy. "Oh, Red… why? Why would you leave me like this?"


	5. Two Super Villainesses In One Night

Harley had thrown the remote at the television in a fury and run from the mansion with tears in her eyes. She'd gone to the only other place for miles around: Ivy's greenhouse. She opened the door and found the atmosphere of the greenhouse to match her mood: miserable. The flowers knew what had happened to their mistress and they were in dismay. Harley went in and revelled in the misery.

Batman was crouched on the roof of the greenhouse, looking down at Harley Quinn. She was walking slowly through the rows of flowers

"Sir, might I ask where you are?" Alfred's voice crackled over the cowl's headset.

"I'm at Ivy's lair. Harley Quinn is here."

"Two super villainesses in one night. How ambitious of you, Master Bruce."

"Don't wait up, Alfred," Batman said with a smirk as he stood and smashed through the glass roof of the greenhouse.

* * *

Glass smashed. Harley turned with a scream to see Batman bursting through the glass roof and plunging towards her. Harley stumbled backwards and fell into a large garden of daisies. Batman landed ten feet from Harley, his boots crunching the glass he had just broken.

"B–B-man? How the hell did you find me? Did Ivy… did Ivy betray me?"

"Hardly. Ivy said that over the last year and a half she had tried and failed to make you love her. I assumed if this were really the case, you'd be close by to wherever she was. All I had to do was collect a current sample of Ivy's pheromones and track the trail."

Harley stood and brushed the dirt and squashed flowers off of her ass. Batman hadn't made a move to fight her and he so very rarely spoke to her 'bat-to-clown', so to speak. "What do you mean she was trying to make me love her?"

"She was at the museum tonight because she was stealing diamonds for you."  
"To make me love her? But I already love her. She's my Red."

"She didn't seem to think you did. At all. She was tired of being compared to Joker."

Harley thought about what Batman was saying. She loved Red: loved her like she did Joker. Did she not show it? Maybe she was harder on Ivy, not showing her love as eagerly as she did for Joker. It was only because she had always thought Ivy to be stronger than Joker; not as self-loathing and certainly not out for constant validation.

"Have I hurt Ivy?"

"Ivy's not easily hurt." Batman replied as stoically as usual. "But the parts of her that still hold on to her humanity are thoroughly shaken. She's going to lose her grip on humanity and become a monster. She'll become like Joker: a hollow shell of hate and rage.

"But I love Ivy because she's _not _Joker."

"I would have thought _you_ of all people wouldn't mind a few extra Jokers running around."

Anger flashed across Harley's face but when she spoke she did so evenly and calmly. "Are you here to take me back to Arkham?"

"Yes."

"Well," Harley smirked as she crossed her arms over across her chest. "I'm not going to _let_ _you_ take me to Arkham."


	6. Like an Idiot in Love

Here's the last chapter of Harlequin Romance and what a crazy and wild ride it's been. Ivy went a little bit crazy, huh? Good thing it's a happy ending :)

Thanks for everyone who stuck around to read all the chapters, I love my readers! Cheers!

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Ivy woke up in her Arkham Asylum cell. She was sprawled on her stomach on the ground of her glass bio-dome cell. The thick glass had been designed to keep her from her plants and now it would double to keep her away from Harley…

"Red? Red, are you okay?"

Ivy sat up quickly and ran to the far side of her cell. Her jaw dropped as she saw that Harley was being led by in shackles and a straight jacket. "Harley? Harley! Batman got you too?" Ivy shouted as she pressed herself to the glass of her cell.

"No. I turned myself in, Red!"

"What?" Ivy's jaw dropped. Harley was not one to go down without a fight. "Why? Why would you turn yourself in?"

"Because where you go, I wanna go with you!" The guards had nearly gotten Harley to the far door but she dug her heels into the ground and craned her neck over her shoulder to shout: "I don't wanna be without you, Red; and I don't want you to change from who you are. I love you, Red! And I'm gonna be seeing you close and personal real soon–"

Harley was shoved through the automatic metal blast doors and into Extreme Isolation on the other side. Ivy let a smile spread across her face. Harley had broken Joker out of Arkham Asylum countless times but she had never, _never _turned herself in to be with him. Harley had given up her hard-earned freedom to be with Ivy and that was more than she'd ever done for the clown.

Ivy twirled about her cell like an idiot in love because, well, she was one. Harley Quinn was all hers: she'd finally won against the Joker! More importantly, she felt she could finally be in love with Harley–she could finally stop denying it to herself–because Harley was finally in love with her. Sure they were both locked away in Arkham Asylum but Harley and Ivy's harlequin romance finally had a happy ending.


End file.
